A short Comedy revealing the varied adventures of the various members of the Ammunition Section while serving in the E. T. O. The characters involved are not fictious but any resemblance on their part to persons either living or dead is a tough break for all parties concerned.

ACT ONE
SCENE ONE
PLACE
    Camp Penning in Merry England. Situated in typical English country-side. Copious amounts of rain and an overwhelming amount of very 'gooey' mud. Living conditions generally uncomfortable with high winds and snow flurries adding to the discomfort of the persons involved.

TIME.
    Seven thirty on any typical day at Camp Penning.

Properties.
    All action to take place in tent No.5 on the Service Co. Street. The tent is a regulation Army pyramidal complete with wood burning stove and six Army cots. Immediate background scenery to show the different areas of the other companies of the 49th connected by a deep-rutted and muddy net

of roads and foot paths. The back-drop will show the bleak and desolate nature of the average winter scene in England.

ACTION.
    Scene shows members of the cast huddled around what appears to be a stove. Obviously cold but getting little or no comfort from the efforts feebly put forth by the stove. They are in a heated discussion about the activities of the previous evening and are avidly discussing the prospects for this another typical day in the lives of the Ammo Section while at Camp Penning.

DIALOGUE:
    'Pappy' -- Where in the h--l is Iman. The 'General' is outside hollering his head off for a truck.
    'Al' -- 'Vern' went out to the 'latrine' about ten minutes ago and he probably got lost in the fog.
    'Pappy' - Anybody that would take that hike to the 'latrine' on a morning like this is nuts.
    'Jimmy' -- What do you expect a guy to do keep one of those gadgets under his bed? Do you suppose they will ever issue a G.I. pot?
    Dialogue interrupted by the entrance of the Battalion Dispatcher.

Dispatcher (with pompous authority). - O.K. you guys let's get on the ball. Where's Iman? I want a truck to report to Bn. Hqs. on the double.
    'Al' -- What's cooking? Probably some Second Looie wants his laundry hauled to B.S.O. Come on I'll go. Iman won't find his way back for Lord knows how long.
Exit 'Al' and the Dispatcher.
    'Jimmy' -- Boy! is 'Mike' ever burned up. He drove the officers to Salisbury last night and didn't get in 'til two this morning. He says they had to sit and wait on two officers for an hour and a half while they took two of two A.T.S. gals home. What a life!
    'Pappy' -- Did 'Mike' get to sleep in this Morning?
    'Jimmy' -- H--l no! He's already on his way to Bournmouth with the laundry. Looks to me like they would kinda give a guy a break once in a while.
(Enter Iman tossing roll of paper disgustedly on cot.)
    'Vern' -- (with nasal inflections) Don't the sun ever shine in this place? A guy is crazy to go out to that latrine. You get so busy trying to find the d--n place that it's a wonder to me that everyone makes it on time. I still don't see why they can't put fur linings around those holes, it's like sitting down on a cake of ice. (Fights his way to get a place near the stove.)
    'Jimmy' -- The 'General' 'was hunting for you. He wanted you to drive some detail at the Officers Quarters.
    'Vern' -- Why the stupid 'hoosier'. What's he think? I can't go anyplace until I fix a couple of flats.
    'Pappy' - Haven't you heard the latest? They are going to have a tire repair crew on duty all day just to fix flats.
    'Vern' -- It's about time they got on the ball. They expect us to wear class 'A' clothes on these pass convoys but they don't tell us how to fix flats and keep your clothes clean at the same lime. And to make matters worse some %*§=M stole the washing machine that Hollins made. I'd sure like to catch the dirty so and so with it.
    'Jimmy' -- G'wan, a lot you could do. I have to go to Tidworth after a while - does anyone need anything?

    'Pappy' - How about getting me a couple 'packs' of those stinkin' 'Limey' cigarettes. If they don't soon get the P.X. on the ball I think I'll give up smoking all together. 'Jimmy' -- What time is it?
    'Vern' -- Almost eight o'clock (Conversation ends with the First Sgts. whistle calling from the end of the Company street. All members grab for their headgear and in a mad scramble leave the tent.)

ACT ONE
SCENE TWO.
TIME.
    Later in the same day and members are rapidly changing clothes while at the same time discussing the events of the day.

'Iman' -- I sure do wish they could do something to get rid of some of the nails around here. It's getting so you can't drive a hundred yards without picking up enough nails to build a three story house.
    'Jimmy' -- In one place down by the 7th's mess hall there's one place where it looks like they had used nails to fill up a hole in the road. They claim the hole had about a bushel basket-full of nails in it. And the drivers usually get the blame if they are late for a detail, no one ever takes into consideration the fact that the flat tires come about every time you are really in a hurry.
    'Pappy' -- You guys better quit beating your gums and get down for early chow if you are going to be in Tidworth in time to make the Convoy to Salisbury.
    'Vern' -- Boy! A guy don't get time enough to breathe around here. I sure wish we would get across the channel and into the battle so we could be rid of some of the Society Convoys for a change.

'Jimmy' - I hope it clears up some tonight, last night it was so foggy Aldridge drove for half a block on the sidewalk in Salisbury and if it hadn't been for a cop he almost ran over he might have taken out a few telephone poles. What a night.
    (From the outside can be heard the plaintive wails of the Dispatcher pleading with the drivers for more speed as our heroes file slowly out of the tent once more for a long nights drive.)

ACT TWO
SCENE ONE
    Bivouac area located in a dense, pine wood near Rheims, France. All vehicles and equipment are shown dispersed and camouflaged in the correct combat echelons. Barely distinguishable in the undergrowth are the varied types of shelters, ranging from the conventional two man 'pup-tent' all the way to the luxurious CP tent of the Personnel Section. Some of the 'hardier' individuals have merely placed their sleeping bags on top of the snow or on pine bows and brave the fury of a winter's night as close to nature as possible.
TIME.
    Ten thirty at night. January 1945.
ACTION.
    Members of the Ammunition Section shown around various sized stacks of crated ammunition of all description. The Ammunition 'dump' is located some ways off from the general bivouac area. From the shouting back and forth between the members it is evident that there are big things in the air.

DIALOGUE.
    Mr. Whipple -- Everyone here? We got a big job to do tonight. 'Pappy' -- Everyone on deck but 'Al', he left his galoshes outside of his bedroll and they froze solid. It will only take him a little while to have them thawed out enough so that he can put them on.

    'Vern' -- What an Army! They get you up in the middle of the coldest night yet to move

out. I wonder where we are going?
    'Mike' -- We have all this ammunition to dish out to the companies before we go anyplace.
    'Al' -- (From the general direction of the woods) Where in the h--l are you guys ---HEY!
    'Jimmy' -- Over here by the ammo - 'Rosie'.     'Dommell' -- (Singing a mournful cow boy ditty about some gal that has lost her man - stops long enough to say) I sure do wish I had stood in bed.
    'Vern' -- What a life. I just got off guard and was getting thawed out when Sgt. Ferrara said we had orders to be ready to move out in two hours. Those new sleeping bags are sure hard to leave, just like some of the women I have known.
    'Pappy' Do you mean white women?
(Dodges a left-hook coming from Iman's direction)
Mr. Whipple -- Capt. Mc Donald will be over soon to give us the 'dope' on the break-down of the ammunition we have on hand. Its gonna be quite a chore getting all this ammo out to the companies with so little time to do it in.
    'Pappy' -- I sure wish he would hurry, my 'dogs' are about to freeze off. You boys all get your trucks over by the ammo dump and we will be ready to start as soon as Capt. Mc Donald gives us the go sign.
(All drivers move off on the double)

ENTER CAPT. McDONALD! 49th Bn. Supply Officer.
    Capt. McDonald -- You boys will have your hands full for the next hour or so but the job has to be done in a hurry. Mr. Whipple and myself will handle the loading from this end and Sgt. Cole, you get the trucks started off to the companies as fast as they are loaded. Curtain falls amid much shouting and in the background can be heard the steady thud, thud as the cases of ammo are stacked in the trucks.

ACT TWO
SCENE TWO:
PLACE:
    Same place.
TIME:
    Daybreak. The rising sun reflected from the vast sweeps of snow makes a dazzling picture in direct contrast with the sombre tones and shadows cast by the towering forest.

ACTION:
    A column of vehicles lined up along the edge of the woods. Little knots of men are gathered along the line of vehicles stamping and blowing to keep warm. The Ammo trucks are off to one side in a separate group with the different members gathered in a group discussing the events of the preceding night.
DIALOGUE:
    'Pappy' -- If I wasn't afraid of freezing to death I would lay down right here --- moving four truck and trailer loads of ammunition in less than two hours is a good days work for anybody. My aching back!
    'Dommell' -- You said it. And what burns me up is the fact that we go and bust our hump getting the job done and the 'brass hats' decide to postpone the move out for a few hours. I sure wish they would let me run the Army for a while - there would be some drastic changes.
    'Jimmy' -- Where did 'Al' - 'Vern' go?
    'Pappy' -- The First Sgt. collared them and has them out covering the sump and latrine. I don't see why he always picks on the Ammo crew. I sometimes wonder what in the h--l he thinks the other 'Johns' in the company are supposed to do.
    'Dommell' -- Ours is not to question why, ours is but to do or die.
(Enter Mr. Whipple)
    Mr. Whipple - Well the show is on! The Battalion moves out in exactly 20 minutes. 'Pappy' -- What are we staying here for? As if I didn't know.
    Mr. Whipple -- You guessed it. For one thing we have to load up the officer's foot-lockers and take them to Reims to be stored. Also all the excess equipment the different Companies left for storage. Then we have to try to overtake the convoy on the road.
(Enter 'Al' and 'Vern')
    'Vern' -- Well that's that. Another sump to our credit. What a job with the ground as hard as concrete. I sure wish it would warm up.
    'Al' -- Well there goes the company. I sure wish we were going with them, I don't like the idea of running around the country all by ourselves. Where they headed for?
    'Jimmy' -- That's as much a secret as Aldridge's 'hoo-doo' stick. Boy! that reminds me of Tidworth and that trip to London. What a town!

    'Pappy' -- I for one am glad we are on the move, maybe we'll get a chance to see some action. Remember how the 'know-it-all's' said the Eighth would never see the ETO? Well we have come a long way and still have a lot further to go.
    'Dommel' -- When do we eat?
(Curtain go's down with the rumbling of the convoy fading in the distance.)

ACT TWO
SCENE THREE
PLACE.
    Louvigny, France, the next home of the hearty nomads of the Ammo Sect. The town hears mute evidence to the terror of modern warfare. The buildings, each with its own individual scars, seem to lean on one another for support. Dispersed among the ruins of the buildings are the vehicles of Service Co. The trucks of the Ammo Section are at one end of the street huddled around a blasted building. The vehicles, now painted white, blend perfectly with the background of snow.
TIME.
    Twelve thirty.
ACTION:
    Scene shows typical billet in the house occupied by the Ammo Section. All members are discussing the probabilities of the future. The room is dimly lighted by a lamp connected to the battery of one of the trucks parked outside the window. All windows have been painstakingly blacked out with a various assortment of scrap blankets etc. The last glowing embers of a dying fire cast fitful shadows around the room.
DIALOGUE:
    'Pappy' -- Well it won't be long till we hit the road again.
    'Vern' -- That's the h--l of it, just when we get a place fixed up so it's fit to live in we have to go and move.
    'Mike' -- We sure have covered some country in the last few weeks. Some of the things we have seen and some of the places we have been through will go down in history as major battles in this war.
    'Jimmy' - Remember Metz? That town was supposedly the strongest natural fortress in the world but the Yanks showed 'em that it takes more than that to keep them from reaching an objective.